je pleure. piango. lloro. i cry... when i watch the news these days. the world is in a constant process of disintegration , decompositiongrowthbirthdeath fucked up perversion and it makes me angry angry angry damn it and then you realize the cycle of violence-injustice and the inevitability and inescapability of it all.... but damn it not the little ones! not the little ones! and then i saw a movie on child prostitution and i wanted to break everything with horror and disgust because yes we are immune to atrocities but then you have to stop, and think and see, and sometimes this freudian death-instinct begins to dawn on the cluttered mind... and obscures the rest. and the sense of futility and what the fuck can i do to change this. and... yeah. but then there are redeeming powers that i see... but i refuse to see today.